10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Get Married
From the moment you get engaged you will be swept up in a whirlwind of emotion. But you could get swept up in all the emotion and get married without considering the implications of making such a serious, committed decision. You might be getting pressured by others into marriage or feel you have no other options - but you should get married for all the right reasons to avoid making a huge mistake.
Ask yourself these questions and you'll know if you are saying “Yes" for all the right reasons.
Am I happy?
Sounds obvious but there are couples that get married although they are not happy. Some marry because it's expected of them and choose to ignore any problems they might have. If you're not happy in your relationship then getting married isn't going to magically fix things, you will more than likely get unhappier after you tie the knot.
Why am I getting married?
Question your reasons for getting married - is it because you're in love and want to make a serious commitment or did you say “Yes" because you're afraid of being alone or you have no other option? If you are marrying someone for reasons that are not about love or the future then you need to think twice - getting married because you think the alternative is worse is not fair for you or your partner.
Is this marriage for better or for worse?
Does your relationship make you a better person, or do you change when you are around your partner? If your relationship doesn't make you feel empowered and strong and makes you question your confidence then it sounds like a bad relationship. If your partner makes you feel bad about yourself you are not in a healthy relationship and should think twice about getting married.
Do we see the same future?
If you're planning on getting married then you know you want to spend your lives together, but what about the future? Have you talked about your plans and goals in life? What about your plan for children? Do you see yourselves living in the same area or would one of you like to live closer to family? Have these conversations before you get married so you know you are on the same page and to ensure there are no nasty surprises down the line.
Do we trust each other?
Trust is one of the most important elements in a relationship and if you don't trust your partner then alarm bells should be sounding. But if the trust has been lost in your relationship you can work at rebuilding it, but make this a priority before you get married rather than something to do after your wedding day.
Do we accept each other?
Let's face it, nobody's perfect. While there are things you might want to change about each other, if you love someone you will accept them for everything including their flaws. You both need to feel you can be yourselves in your relationship or you will face big issues in your married life.
How would we cope with the unexpected?
Accidents and unexpected things happen in life, whether it's an unplanned pregnancy, losing a job, financial problems or death in the family. While your circumstances will dictate how you react at the time, you need to know you are united and are ready for everything the world will throw at you.
Can we keep the spark?
Relationships are not easy, ask anyone who has been together for some time and they will say that they have to work at keeping the spark alive. If you want to have a happy and healthy marriage, you both need to find the energy to work at it.
Do you share the same values?
If you're planning on building a future together then you need to know you share the same values and objectives. This applies to everything from your moral values, religious beliefs to outlook on life. Life is easier when you're on the same page.
Is this the right time?
They say timing is everything, and often in life it's better not to rush into things, but let them progress naturally. Spend time together getting to know who you are and make sure you are ready. There's no hurry to tie the knot. It's easier to call off a wedding than live with regret or an expensive divorce!