5 Ways to Get Your Groom Into Wedding Planning
While all eyes might be on the bride at the wedding, the groom is as much a part of the day. Often the groom gets a little forgotten with the bride soaking up attention, and most people think grooms have very little involvement in planning a wedding. While that might have been true when it was up to the bride’s family to foot the bill, things have changed as couples save up together to pay for the wedding and will pay, or contribute in part to the costs.
While you might be ready to tackle wedding planning head on from the moment you get engaged, your husband-to-be might be a bit more relaxed about the whole process. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about the wedding and isn’t interested in doing his part – so don’t get carried away and forget to hear what he wants for the day.
Weddings are a joint affair, so you want a day where both your styles are incorporated and reflected throughout. Check out these ideas about how you can get your groom into the wedding planning groove!
Divide your tasks
Hold up - Before you even start any of your wedding planning you should divide up the planning tasks between you. Some of it you can do together, then there are tasks you can take care of individually. For example, you can pick out flowers while he finds a DJ. Don’t forget you have a maid of honor and a best man to help you along the way. Then there are some things you have to do together – look at venues, visit photographers - because if one of you isn’t happy with the other’s choice, it could ruin your big day (and lead to some arguments).
So the groom’s very relaxed about planning and doesn’t seem that interested in doing much – it’s not the end of the world. While you might not split all the planning you can delegate some of the tasks to him. You could ask him to find a way to incorporate his parents and grandparents into the ceremony. He can ask them about traditions the family has or any significant dates you can incorporate into your day. There are lots of small things that need to be done, so compile list for your laid-back groom.
You might be contending with a very hands-off groom, so it might be difficult to know exactly what he wants. But you will know what he does NOT want. If he's not going to be a part of the planning process then you need to be ready to compromise. It's easy to get carried away by our own vision of the perfect day, but it might not be your groom's vision for the big day.
Even if he’s opting out of wedding planning then there are some things you need to do together. Budget is one of the main things you have to plan together. You need to sit down and decide how much you have to spend on the day and where you can spend and save. You should visit venues together and check out wedding entertainment (although you could compile a shortlist). If you’re tearing your hair out at a non-planning ready groom then sit down and explain why it's important to you that he gets involved and how it will help you both have a better wedding day.
You need to make yourself heard when it comes to wedding planning. Help your husband-to-be understand why the wedding details matter to you. You should understand why he might not feel as passionately about the actual wedding as you do (well you have been dreaming about it since you were a little girl), but let him or her know that you still need his support both emotionally and in doing the work of planning a wedding!