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Cold feet? How to deal with the pre-wedding jitters

Even if you spend endless hours paging through Pinterest and envisioning the perfect wedding, you've probably never encountered anything about cold feet. C'mon, it's a touchy subject! So many brides feel guilty if they experience pangs of doubt. But pre-wedding jitters are totally normal, and are rarely a sign that anything is actually wrong (just that you accept and realize the big step you're about to take!). 

Pre-wedding cold feet: what's normal?

Getting married is a big deal. You're committing your life to another person – forever, so it's okay to wonder whether you're making the right decision. Contemplating whether you can be with one person forever, evaluating whether you'll be able to tolerate your fiancé's quirks for eternity, and even feeling a little trapped are completely normal.

What's not normal? Cheating on your fiancé, experiencing abuse (physical or emotional) from your fiancé or feeling as if you can't be honest with one another. If you experience these serious relationship problems, it's time to look for outside help. Very often, pre-marital counselling can help iron out any kinks, and every relationship – no matter how stable and happy – will benefit from a bit of therapy.

Coping with anxiety

Even if anxiety is normal, it's certainly not fun. You may feel a little embarrassed that you're maybe not as excited about the wedding as you think you should be. If you're struggling to cope with your anxiety, consider some coping strategies:

  • Start meditating, doing yoga (we love Erin Motz's 30-Day yoga challenge on YouTube - and it's free!) or taking daily walks. These can all help clear your mind and make you feel less anxious.
  • Talk to a good friend about your anxiety (but make sure it's someone who's supportive of your marriage and relationship!).
  • Schedule a few sessions with a counselor, who can help determine why you're so anxious.
  • Talk to your fiancé! Choose your words carefully so you don't hurt his feelings, but communicating openly can help put both of your minds at ease.
  • Make a list of any issues in your relationship you feel haven't been fully resolved, then talk them over with your honey and a premarital counselor.
  • Get eight hours of sleep every night and drink plenty of water. Wedding planning is stressful, and if you don't take care of yourself you can end up with cold feet, even if there's nothing at all wrong with your relationship.
  • Schedule a fun date with your fiancé every week. The long, involved wedding planning process can take you away from one another, but a romantic evening will remind you why you're getting married in the first place.
  • Don't forget to take some time for yourself. A manicure, spa visit or an evening at the library can help you feel centered and prepared to take on the task of wedding planning.

Remember, having cold feet doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong - many brides have struggled with the same feelings! When your wedding day rolls around, you'll be eager to walk down the aisle and it's unlikely you'll even remember your bout of cold feet.


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