10 Secrets of a Successful and Happy Marriage
The honeymoon phase is well and truly over. Then along comes the reality of marriage at the arrival gates. Once the shine of being a newlywed has gone then you experience all the normal peaks and troughs of a relationship.
Everyone has good times and rocky patches in a relationship, and it takes determination and love to get you through the good and especially bad times.
To make life easier for you, we have done some research into the secrets of a happy and successful marriage!
Communicate from your heart
This might be considered very basic but it is something that many people find difficult. When speaking to your partner, during a time of crisis, be sure that you speak from the heart and don't just say the words that you think he or she wants to hear.
If you have become wary or your partners ways when you are not around, keep in mind that affairs are largely fantasies (We have all thought about a celeb whisking us off into the sunset). The person outside of the marriage is often idealized and seen as an escape from real problems so addressing these and voicing your vulnerability can keep you both grounded and happy.
Resolve your problems
Make a list of the things you argue about the most. This will resolve the bigger problems that need to be tackled. By finding mutually agreeable solutions to these issues you will have learned valuable life skills and may even be worthy to become a UN peacekeeper! Lasting marriage results from a couple's ability to resolve the conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship.
Show some appreciation
The best way to banish resentment and reinforce positive vibes is by expressing your appreciation for little things. When we share what we like about our spouse, we begin to focus on what is right in the relationship, and our partner feels that his/her efforts are truly valued. By spending a few minutes a day on this doing this, you can break through a lot of negativity.
Take some time
Work stress makes life very difficult outside of the workplace. This in turn effects relationships. Booking time off and a break away is very important. These should be spaced out every 6-8 weeks and in unison. Time off together takes the burden of life off both of your shoulders for a couple of days.
Stop correcting little errors. Whether there were 80 or 100 people at the event it really will not change both of your lives dramatically and it has no bearing on whether you had way too drank too much at the party either. In the words of Frozen, Let it go.
Step away from technology
30 minutes free from your phone, P.C, tablet and all other technological devices is one of the best ways to communicate better with your other half. It is great to use applications when you are a long distance away from your partner but when you are close by try and maintain face to face contact for as much time as possible.
Ease financial stress
Money matters are a real issue for most couples. The problems arise because to two issues: Not enough of it? and how to spend it?. Budgeting is necessary to make sure that both you and your spouse get value from your money. It is also an idea to set up a joint account where you both place 80 per cent of your earnings for bills and expenses, then place the 20 per cent in your own account to spend, as you please with no questions asked.
Even if you’ve been married for 50 years, you still need to go on dates with your partner. Set up a time once a week where you both go out together on your own and enjoy each other's company. It can be going to the cinema or a museum, out for dinner or a walk in the park. By making a scheduled and fixed appointment you will show each other that the marriage is a priority and worth your time.
Do something together
Most couples forget what brought them together in the first place. Be it an interest in sport, films, political issues or something completely obscure. Why not go back to basics and join a class related to something you both share a passion for.