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How Should I Handle My Jealous Maid Of Honor?

Dear Olivia,

My best friend, who is currently single, was so thrilled when I asked her to be my maid of honor - she said she was super excited to plan my shower and bachelorette, and I thought she was really happy for me. But lately she's been acting really strange and showing major signs of jealousy. She rolls her eyes whenever I ask her advice about my wedding plans and she's totally taken a back seat in the shower and bachelorette planning! I know how badly she would like to get married, but this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life and she's ruining it for me! - Lisa


Let me play devil's advocate here for a minute! Are you talking about anything other than your wedding with your maid of honor? Do you ask her about her life? Friendship is a two-way street - so while this may be the most exciting time in your life, she might have other things going on. The all-powerful happiness of a bride-to-be can be tough for her single girlfriends. But she still needs to keep up her end of the bargain; if she can't be supportive and excited for you, maybe you need a new maid of honor!

Not gonna happen? Let's talk through your options:

  • Plan a night out to talk to her about what's going on. Maybe take her out for some cocktails and ask about her - put a lid on the wedding talk for one night. Let the cocktails work their magic and put you two back in a place that was special for the two of you, pre-fiancé. Hopefully she'll remember what a great friend you are and feel lucky she was chosen to stand by your side on your big day. 
  • Do not call her jealous! That will open up a whole can of worms and add more fuel to the fire if she's already irritated or annoyed with you, for whatever reason. Once the J-word is out there, you can't take it back!
  • Give her an easy "out" of planning your pre-wedding festivities. Let her know how much you want her to be a part of everything, but that you understand if it's too much for her. Your bridal shower and bachelorette party will be so much more fun if they are planned by those who are truly excited for you, and enthusiastic about the project! Surround yourself with those who share your joy. 
  • Last resort? Ignore her! You can't be responsible for everyone's happiness. This is your moment to shine - focus on how happy you are to be getting married and don't let her negativity bring you down. You can focus on your friendship again after the wedding.

Remember to be kind to and appreciative of her and your other 'maids. Your bridal party will be expected to shell out a lot of dough for a dress they will never (believe me!) wear again, attend and buy gifts for all of your pre-wedding events, have their hair and makeup done as dictated by you, run errands and help with projects. Be sensitive to how much is being asked of them and let them know how much it means to you. A thoughtful gift or day of pampering wouldn't hurt, either!

Love, laughter and happiness,



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