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The 5 Secrets of Long-Lasting Love

Love – it’s a word that has inspired poets writers and musicians, brings tears to the eyes of grown men and makes people act in strange and crazy ways.  The Beatles sang that ‘ All you need is love’ while Diana Ross had a ‘Love hangover’. We know love is a wonderful thing, but once you find it the big question is how do you make it last? We’ve looked into the secrets of long-term love and come up with these five ideas…

Love and affection

Research by Stony Brook University found that a large percentage of couples stay intensely in love even after a decade of marriage. What they found out was that the secret of this long-lasting love was affectionate behavior, like hugging and kissing. That could be down to the hormone oxytocin, something that plays a big part in bonding. While sex does have a part in that bonding, the research found that some of the couples that had not had sex in the last month still reported being intensely in love. So keep up the hugs and kisses and your love will last (that’s according to science not us).    

Being kind

The Open University completed a study into long-lasting relationships and found that acts of kindness are key to love. The study found making your partner feel appreciated through mundane tasks surprisingly keeps a relationship strong. The researchers said that making a cup of tea and giving a compliment were highly valued while flowers and chocolates were seen as less important by people who were questioned. So by being kind and small everyday acts you can keep the love alive in your relationship. 

Spend time together

While the research by Stony Brook University found one key to lasting love is affection, another thing they found was that couples who had shared experiences felt a more intense love.  Other research has found that married couples spend just over four hours together a day, but you need to give each other space too. The University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research found in one study that 11.5 per cent of unhappy couples said that they were dissatisfied with their relationship because of  a lack of privacy. So couples need to find that balance of spending quality time together and not focus on a quantity of time. 

Spend time apart

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder according to a study by the City University of Hong Kong.  They found that couples in long distance relationships have more meaningful interactions than those who see each other on a daily basis. To keep the romance in their relationship alive, couples in long-distance relationships will have more communication and talk about deeper issues like love, trust and future plans. So if you’re having a long-distance relationship remember to keep the talking going even when the distance is gone. 

See the positive 

When reviewing 500 studies about compatibility, the University of Geneva found that the ability to idealize and maintain positive illusions about a partner meant the couple were happy with each other no matter how long they had been together. That means seeing the positive in the other person, that they’re good-looking, intelligent, funny and caring.  Thinking about the things that bother you will only turn small niggling things into huge irritating issues, and that can damage the love that you share. So when you get annoyed by something small, try balance it with a positive thought and feel the love!

 

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