10 Ultimate Bridesmaid Fails! #BRIDESMAIDFAIL
Planning a wedding is no walk in the park - although, we know, we know, it's the best time in your life, so full of love, yadda yadda - which is why it's so important to have an army of loyal gals at your beck and call. But what do you do when one - or more - of your gal pals goes rogue? And how do you know you're not just having a bridezilla moment? Read on...
She says no
When you approach one of your best girlfriends and ask her to be your 'maid, you're probably not considering the possibility that she may say no. And really, unless she has a really legitimate reason, you can be totally justified in feeling upset. Look at it this way: if she doesn't wanna be there, that's her loss.
She's fighting with your other 'maids
It's one thing to have a party with all of your schoolfriends, or to go away for the weekend with your college besties, but your bridesmaids are often a combination of school, college and work friends - and it's not guaranteed that they'll get along. But c'mon, we're all adults and if she can't put her differences aside for the sake of your big day, she needs someone to talk her off the ledge. (Hint: that someone is you! Don't expect your best work colleague to have a heart-to-heart with your childhood BFF about her bad wedding behavior.)
She won't wear the dress
This is a tough one, because of course you don't want anyone feeling uncomfortable on the day of your wedding. This is a celebration, and you want your 'maids to be as happy as you and your new hubby! But if six of your girls are over the moon and one is digging in her heels... it can be a tricky one to navigate. Ask her what her issues are: if it's a body confidence problem, it might be an idea to go mix'n'match. Dress four girls in one gown and three in another that may be a little more forgiving. But if it's just that she hates cobalt blue? Tell her to grow up. (In a nice way.)
It's not unheard of for your best friend in the whole wide world to feel a little pang of jealousy to go along with her joy at your upcoming nuptials. If she really is your best friend, it might be worth treating you both to manicures and spending some you-time together, so that she knows she's not losing you - and also to spend a little time reassuring her that her Mr Right is out there, too! But if her jealousy is getting in the way of your happiness, make it clear to her that you need her support and that, ultimately, this is about you and your future husband, not her.
She's messing with your guest list
If you're having a pretty small guest list, it's understandable that not everybody will be getting a plus one - even your bestie! She may have a certain someone right now, but they've been dating for less than two months and you're not sure you wanna fork out the guts of $100 for him to be at your celebration (when you've only met him once). But she's being super difficult about it, and seems to think his inclusion is a sure thing. Make it clear to her that you don't have room for added extras and you were hoping she could hang with the bridal party - but don't mention the fact that you suspect he's a flash in the pan. It will not go down well - trust us.
Oh my God, how dare she! Okay, we're kidding - kind of. It can be a serious headache if you have your dresses chosen and bought and then she drops the bomb that she'll be accompanying you down the aisle with a baby on board! But don't stress: find a good dressmaker (in our experience, Mom always knows someone) who can either let out her dress, or work the fabric into a slightly different design.
She's going over your head
So you want your 'maids to have their hair up, with natural makeup - then you find out your 'maid has been telling your stylist that she wants hers down, with a smokey eye... if you're the easygoing type, let your 'maids do what makes them feel like themselves. If you have your heart set on uniformity, on the other hand, put your foot down, especially if you're paying for hair and makeup. You get the final say, after all.
She goes overboard on your bachelorette
You've known this girl since you were still in diapers, so it's no wonder she knows every single thing about you - which can be a good and a bad thing. When it comes to your bachelorette, she spends the whole night exposing your most embarrassing secrets to both new and old friends (not to mention your husband-to-be's family!). While this isn't a total disaster (what happens at a bachelorette party...), it's understandable that you'd be a bit angry with her! Try to sweep it under the carpet. Old friends can sometimes feel like sisters and imagine they have free rein to say whatever they like. Forgive and forget.
She flirts with your fiancé
From forgivable to not so forgivable, you just can't stand how she behaves around your honey. She's super touchy-feely, laughs at all of his (bad) jokes and goes out of her way to show off in front of him - "Aaron, tell me from a man's perspective, is this dress too overtly sexy?" You have two choices: you can trust your hubbie-to-be's love for you and ignore her, or you can take her aside and tell her she's making you feel uncomfortable. The latter option runs the risk of her making you feel worse: "You're obviously being paranoid." But if she can't adjust her behavior to spare your feelings, maybe it's worth re-evaluating your friendship.
On the big day, she messes up in a major way
You have everything planned to be perfect, but on the day of your wedding, one of your bridesmaids just doesn't play ball. She shows up late, hates her hair and makeup (so sneaks off to redo them), totally forgets to bring the booklets to the ceremony, wears her own shoes because the ones you picked are "just soooo uncomfortable", leaves your purse behind in the church... we could go on. The thing about these kinds of mistakes is, no one will notice except you. Try to rise above it and have someone on backup to pick up her slack. When it's all done and dusted, it's up to you to decide if she's as good a friend you thought she was - just don't make a fuss on the day. A bridesmaid-bride fight will definitely be remembered, while a slightly less-than-perfect 'maid will not.