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5 really, really bad first-dance songs

A friend of Dreamwedding's was at a wedding a few years back in the UK, where there were a series of mishaps before the first dance - one involved a dress disaster, another involved a missing groomsman and the final straw was a mix-up with the musical selections, meaning the playlist the couple had lovingly provided for their venue had gone missing, and it was looking a lot like there wasn't going to be a first dance. The band hadn't arrived, so having them fill in was not an option; the bride was at her wit's end and practically yelled at the wedding coordinator to "just play anything!"

It was something she regretted, because this was what the frazzled coordinator came up with...

In case you don't follow UK celebrity news, this was the solo single of Cheryl Cole (née Tweedy, of Girls Aloud - an X Factor-created girlband - fame), emerging mere weeks after Cheryl discovered that her then husband, footballer Ashley Cole, was (ahem) playing away, with hairdresser Aimee Walton. Not exactly the greatest note to start your life's journey together, huh? Still, we can think of five worse first-dance songs. Read on...

Love Will Tear Us Apart: not exactly the lyrics to a life of marital bliss, are they? Surely you want to start your road together on a positive note, not an acceptance that love is often the destroyer of all that we hold dear. (That being said, Broken Social Scene's version, used as the first-dance song in The Time Traveler's Wife, is kind of lovely - almost as lovely as Rachel McAdams' Lee Ann Belter Bridal dress!)

Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven is one of our favorite sad songs, but given that it was written by Clapton after the death of his young son, it hardly seems an appropriate way to celebrate your joy. Plus, all going well, you'll have years to discuss your eventual death (fun post-wedding conversation alert!).

We firmly believe that there is not a wedding / party / festival in the world that won't benefit from the addition of some Bon Jovi. Head-thumping, fist-pumping - what's not to love? Well, when it comes to weddings we might just suggest sticking to something a little more, well, thematic. Livin On a PrayerIt's My Life and Bed of Roses are all great tunes to get your relatives dancing - You Give Love a Bad Name should probably be saved for karaoke with your girlfriends when you've been married a couple of months and have had it up to here with your new hubbie's dirty linen on the floor!

So, in reality, having this playing during your first dance would be hilarious - and mildly confusing for your guests! It's sure a great dancin' song, but for that slow, special one-on-one moment (possibly the first chance you'll get to talk all day!), you may wanna take things down a notch. And, y'know, not risk insulting yourself, the bride!

From the very first words of Christina Aguilera's Dirrty, it should be pretty darned clear why this would not be the ideal first-dance song. It would also be a serious challenge to dance to Dirrty without adding in some entirely inappropriate actions - in fact, we'd steer away from Dirrty entirely for a wedding celebration. But Friday night? Give us a pair of chaps and we're all Xtina's!

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