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Speak up! 5 Ways to be an Assertive Bride

Wedding planning could turn even and all-singing, all-dancing fairytale princess into a big ball of stress. Some call her bridezilla, but she would call it being assertive. Our princess wants the best for her wedding…and she’s getting it!

If you’re more of a shrinking violet and find everyone around you is drowning out your voice, then it’s time to get like our princess and be more assertive. We don’t mean going rogue and go full bridezilla, but you should be able to express your desires so you get what you want and deserve.

We have five pieces of advice that will help you become more assertive without causing serious drama:

Know what you want 

Before you visit a venue, caterer or florist make sure you know what you want and what you’re willing to pay for it. It might sound simple, but the more certain you are about what you want, the more likely you are to get it. Be confident about your decisions and don’t just go with the flow. The wedding is your day, so if you know what you want then you should get it! Don’t be over accommodating and accept second best, you actually make people’s lives easier if you can be clear and upfront about what you want. Your body language should reflect your confidence – and even if you’re a nervous wreck inside you should fake it! The way you hold yourself says a lot about you. Hold your head high, look the person you are speaking to in the eye and avoid fidgeting or covering your mouth when you speak. 

Say what you want

If the stationary store gave your friend a great deal on invitations and hasn’t offered it to you, or you saw a bouquet at a wedding but the florist doesn’t have it in their brochure – speak out! These people are strangers so telling them what you want for your wedding should be easy because after the wedding you will never see them again! If you have asked for a deal but are still unhappy with the service you received, make sure you make a complaint. Customer service is important in business and by highlighting any issues you could get better treatment, or at least make sure other brides don’t get treated the same way you did,

Don’t try to please others

You might find yourself trying to please your mother, your mother-in-law or your bridesmaids when planning your wedding. But you should assert yourself and have the day you dreamed of. It’s easier to make everyone around you happy and avoid conflict, but this will actually lead to frustration and even a big bust-up should tensions become too much. You don’t have to be unpleasant, but focus on what you want rather than pleasing everyone else. When it comes to your husband-to-be make sure you are on the same page when it comes to the wedding. He will have his own ideas, so work out a way you can both what you want included in the day. That way everybody’s happy!

Tell people what's on your mind.

If you have something to say – then say it! Tell people how you feel and what you think, you are entitled to your opinion, especially when it comes to your wedding day. Don’t assume that the people around you automatically know what you need or how you feel, so tell them as clearly as you can. If there is something bothering you, or someone is creating unnecessary drama, then be clear about the way you feel and don’t mask it in a conversation about lots of other things, otherwise it can come across as trivial. If you don’t feel able to just say it off-the-cuff, practice in front of the mirror, into a recording device, or even with a trusted friend (unless they’re the one who is causing the drama!)

Start to say “No”

It’s not difficult, you just need to learn to take a deep breath and say those two little letters. You have the right to reject someone’s offer of help or their ideas if it’s not what you want. You can be gracious and thank them for their offer or thoughts, but you don’t have to take everything everyone says on board. Saying “Yes” to everything can actually lead to more issues in the long run and a whole lotta stress that you don’t need. At the end of the day, the most important people on your wedding day are you and the groom, so if you don’t start respecting your ideas then nobody will!





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